What am I?-2

Out of the love of her baby, she sent her resignation letter to Sabrina, her manager, who was one of her best buddies. Sabrina called her up and tried to convince her to give her decision a second thought and extended her leave for a week with the hope helping her out in this difficult moment of her life . But, she herself could not dare to change her decision . Perhaps, she was looking for the hand of somebody else..whom she loved a lot, whom she expected to be by her side and stand up with her.. to give her the courage to overcome her anxiety and fears and ready to share the responsibility of ‘their’ baby. She was feeling all alone, surrounded by fierce darkness all around...So, she went with her decision and very unwillingly, for the sake of her child, she left the job.

It was difficult for her to stay at home everyday but it was her daughter that kept her busy. Gradually she got used to it, but somewhere deep in her heart a void was left. At the beginning of each month, the text from the bank for the deduction of her EMI on house loan seemed to make fun of her.. and she was being drained of her hard earned money with no inflow of income. When she used to talk about this to her husband, she got the usual sugar-coated response that his money is hers too. So, she never let that fear took over her and the time flew away. 

Until yesterday, the things went  more or less smoothly.The work pressure of her husband had become mental trauma for her and her baby. As there was no physical violence, they were dragging their relation. And then, she received a call on her mobile from Neeta aunty, her mother’s friend. She informed her that her mother met with an accident and is hospitalised for severe trauma. The initial formalities of her admission to the hospital have been done by them and she should come as soon as possible. The news came as a shock to her. The feeling of losing her mother crashed her soul from within, as she lost her father few years back and was having no sibling. She was terrified with the thoughts racing through her mind. Somehow, she put herself together; packed her minimal stuff in her bag and got her tickets done. The message from bank regarding the balance left shocked her. It was , merely, the amount of her next EMI which will be automatically deducted from her account the next day, before she ll reach the hospital. 

She waited for her husband and his words ‘my money is yours too’ pacified her. But her world went upside down when he straight forwardly  refused to give her any amount and went to sleep. 

She felt betrayed and cheated. The helplessness she felt was tearing her apart. The inhuman behaviour of her husband was torturing her and the tension of her mother’s health status was adding to her misery. But now, it was ENOUGH...enough of everything..enough of being good for the one didn’t care for her...enough of prioritising others over herself. 

By now, she had finished her coffee and the storm of thoughts into her brain had calmed down. Now she had set her priorities right..by prioritising HERSELF.  She picked up the phone and borrowed money from her manager friend and left for her mother’s place with her daughter. She told her friend to look for an appropriate job for her as she doesn’t want to waste any of her days for anybody. Her husband had underestimated her power and looked low upon her, who had lost her self esteem and courage to stand against her responsibilities. But ,her strong decision was her final word.!Then, he pleaded for his guilty and even threatened her for separation. But now, she was no more affected with any of these words . She was determined and rall set to tackle with whatever comes to her way. 

With all the determination, she went to her mother and took good care of her. She re entered into the professional world with a bang and sent out the divorce papers to her husband. Now, she was more contented, holding her promotion letter of her dream job, surrounded by the applauding colleagues. Her daughter came running from the door and hugged her tightly and said ‘ Mom! You are my inspiration .’ Today, after almost five years, she got an answer to her question ‘ What am I doing here?’